One Woman Walks Wales - 3700 miles
One Woman Walks Wales
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Photos
  • The Route
  • About me
  • Postcards - receive a postcard in return for your donation
  • How to donate
  • About ovarian cancer
  • Articles and press coverage

The emotions

3/24/2015

3 Comments

 
Life has changed again.  I left the walk on the 1st of February, a brother in a car accident, said the policeman on the phone, serious condition.  The only train that day took me away from Porthmadog, winding its way around the coast and estuary into farmland then towns then Birmingham, the midlands, no distance to the horizon, buildings as far as the eye could see, and into the heart of Nottingham where, waiting for me, lay a brother, prone, the wise nurse at the end of the bed guiding him through his coma, machines beeping a jagged lullaby.

I've been there, waiting and watching as he moved again, as he talked again and as he walked again. 

Before this, before the 1st of Febuary, my life was fixed and focused on one thing, completing the walk of thousands of miles I'd set myself.  I walked through pain, through bad weather, up and over hundreds of hills, down into sheep lined valleys.  My heart flew free above me, despite pain and privation I was happier than I could ever been in a job, in a house, in the snarings of a civilised life.
Now I'm torn, my focus ripped away from the walk and targeted on my brothers life, first his survival and then his achievements, his long term future.

I don't know where I am, coming back here, only that it's the only thing left to do.  It feels like Rumplestiltskin in reverse.  I'm returning from a dream to the same life, same mountains, same sea, same gossips in village shops, same ovarian cancer, same boots, same rucksack.  It's only me that's changed; I've been to death and back again and now I'm different.

It all feels a bit futile now, this walk, this sunshine, these cancer charities.  I'm sure it will change, I'll feel a bit different.  I just need to keep acting as if this is normal and the jumble inside me will slowly unravel, leaving me free to enjoy the final thousand miles.  Months of Welsh coastline still to come, another six rivers to follow and a target of ten thousand pounds to raise for charity.  I'll do it because it's all there is.
3 Comments
Richard W
3/24/2015 08:36:10 pm

Dear Ursula,
ever since meeting you, when you visited the boatyard at Stourport, I have been following your blog in silent reverence, and increasing awe. Often I have felt a desire to communicate; being a retiring type, I left it to others more capable and relevant.
Knowing how life can deliver monumental 'kicks in the head', seemingly at random, this time I am compelled to reach out to let you know that you have my heartfelt admiration and support. I cannot imagine that anyone who has emerged into your adventure, or reads your blog, would express anything less.
There is not room or time here to plumb the depth of my sentiments, I just hope you can read between the lines and know that one more person is feeling your anguish and pain. If the necessity of further cross-country journeys brings you near Stourport, then I am sure we can provide some rudimentary shelter for as long as you need.
Take care, Richard W.

Reply
rosie slough
3/25/2015 06:20:03 pm

I second what Richard said. thinking of you at this difficult and challenging time, understand how torn you must feel between different things. be kind to yourself, things will gradually sort themselves out, I am sure. and Spring is coming!

not good at saying this kind of thing but wanted, like Richard, to show support to a very brave lady.

wish I could join you but distance too great, so just send very best wishes.

rosie slough (Iliad weekend, Kington)

Reply
Jan & John
3/28/2015 08:32:13 pm

We are thinking of you and your brother. Not a good time for you.
Glad you got your walk up Snowdon - something nice to think of when waiting by his bedside.Hope ypu can get back in the swing of things. We enjoyed meeting you when you were in Anglesey.
Regards John & Jan (Llanfachraeth)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Walking round Wales, for charity....have I mentioned that anywhere else?

    JOURNALISTS - Please do not use quotes from this blog in print or online media without contacting me first. Email is in the top right hand corner.

    Archives

    February 2018
    August 2017
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    December 2013

    Categories

    All
    Clicking Knees
    Coastal Path
    Endurance Exercise
    Glyndwr's Way
    Kit-list
    Knee Strain
    Long Distance
    Long Distance Walking
    Offa's Dyke Path
    One Woman Walks Wales
    Plantar Faciitis
    Plantar Strain
    Sports Injury
    Tiredness After Exercise
    Walking
    What To Pack For A Long Distance Walk
    What To Take On A Long Walk

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.