Here I am, reliving past days. I've got a kitchen table, a sunny window, endless cups of tea and radio 4 murmuring reassuringly. This is my favourite way to spend a breakfast. I've done some staring, thought about plucking my eyebrows, decided what I'll do later, looked at the internet. All while the minutes slowly pass and the world burbles in the background, at a peaceful volume.
I've been feeling nervous over the last few days, as if I'm going so slowly this will never be done. When I think of the miles I've trudged over the last few weeks and how it's a very very small fraction of what is still to come; the size, the enormity of what I'm taking on feels impossible. I find myself pushing for a few extra daily miles, thinking ahead, panting to get to the next town, the next section. But my body can't do that - too many miles in one day means more pain the next.
I've realised I have to recognise the time as well as the distance - this isn't going to end quickly, I'm going to be doing this for months and months and months; there is no getting it over with! I need to sit in this, go slowly, mentally as well as physically.
So here I am, with an enforced rest. A day to look in shops, to hitchike, to chat. To relax my body, to enjoy the day.
All until the dentistry later; I'm pretty scared of dentists and I knew this tooth was a problem. A piece of filling flaked away shortly before the walk and I could feel the tooth somehow, creaking, aching. Then, when I chewed a bit of brand new toffee there was a definite crack and there it is, half the molar is breaking away from the rest of the tooth. I hate the fact that I will have to pay to experience pain, I have enough of it for free.
But, think positive, sit in it, embrace this feeling. There is no moment of any day that should be rushed through to get to the next (and I am definitely not rushing to get to the dentist later!).
I'm trying to go full speed through a long distance race. Forget hare, think tortoise? How many more cliches can I cram into this paragraph. Don't worry, be happy. Keep clam and carry on. (I know it's calm but that's a pretty good typo). This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Enough of that. Let's get outside and enjoy the day. x
I've been feeling nervous over the last few days, as if I'm going so slowly this will never be done. When I think of the miles I've trudged over the last few weeks and how it's a very very small fraction of what is still to come; the size, the enormity of what I'm taking on feels impossible. I find myself pushing for a few extra daily miles, thinking ahead, panting to get to the next town, the next section. But my body can't do that - too many miles in one day means more pain the next.
I've realised I have to recognise the time as well as the distance - this isn't going to end quickly, I'm going to be doing this for months and months and months; there is no getting it over with! I need to sit in this, go slowly, mentally as well as physically.
So here I am, with an enforced rest. A day to look in shops, to hitchike, to chat. To relax my body, to enjoy the day.
All until the dentistry later; I'm pretty scared of dentists and I knew this tooth was a problem. A piece of filling flaked away shortly before the walk and I could feel the tooth somehow, creaking, aching. Then, when I chewed a bit of brand new toffee there was a definite crack and there it is, half the molar is breaking away from the rest of the tooth. I hate the fact that I will have to pay to experience pain, I have enough of it for free.
But, think positive, sit in it, embrace this feeling. There is no moment of any day that should be rushed through to get to the next (and I am definitely not rushing to get to the dentist later!).
I'm trying to go full speed through a long distance race. Forget hare, think tortoise? How many more cliches can I cram into this paragraph. Don't worry, be happy. Keep clam and carry on. (I know it's calm but that's a pretty good typo). This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Enough of that. Let's get outside and enjoy the day. x
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